Grief comes in many different forms, and grief from divorce is particularly complicated and can affect the children of the divorcing party as well as the adults.
I host a radio show called “The Grief Recovery Hour with Sharon Brubaker,” on KHTS FM 98.1 & AM 1220 and I recently welcomed two guests, author, mortgage adviser and life coach Patti Handy and fellow Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Sandi Atmore. Each of these women offer specialized help in different areas of grief, and can offer you help with your grief.
The children go through the divorce as well. Even if they are young, those children walk through that divorce journey with you.
If the children are older, they may be witnesses to some fighting. There are ways that parents can help their children with some of the grieving process from this divorce.
“When the children are very young, parents assume it is not as big of a deal for the children,” Sandi Atmore said. “Sometimes, later, I have those adult children in my office and they were very impacted by what was happening.”
It is important to fully grieve that loss of a relationship. Going through a Grief Recovery process can be an amazing help for everyone involved.
“The children will mimic the way the parent grieves,” Sandi Atmore said. So if it is done in a healthy way, the children will follow suit.
Another big piece of helping a child with the grief from divorce is to help them understand that this is not their fault. Once the parent has gone through the grief recovery process we teach a class called, “When Children Grieve.”
One thing we always encourage is for parents to be honest with their children. Don’t sugar coat what is happening; say the word divorce.
Recovery from loss is accomplished by discovering and completing all of the undelivered communications that accrue in relationships. We are all advised to “Let Go,” and “Move On” after losses of all kinds. Most of us would do that if we knew how.
Completion of the pain caused by loss is what allows us to go and move on. It is almost impossible to move on without first taking the series of actions needed to complete this natural process.
A Time to Grieve provides the supportive guidance each individual needs to learn about this process within themselves. Together, we will walk through this process and find a path to recovery.
About Sharon Brubaker
Grief is individual and unique for every person. A person’s relationship to each aspect of their life is also unique. As such, the feelings and thoughts each person will have about the relationship that has been altered by death, divorce, or other reasons requires customized attention using proven skills and understanding.