When my heart was broken from the loss of my nephew Austin, I could not imagine ever feeling better. I remember thinking will this pain ever go away. I would often go into the shower and just cry because I did not want my children to see me in tears. I thought that I would be in this pain for the rest of my life.
Now looking back at that time in my life I remember some of the things that were told to me by close friends and family. It breaks my heart to think of the large amount of misinformation out in the world.
For the most part loved ones around you want you to feel better. They want you to feel better right away. So, inevitably they will say things like, “Keep Busy” you will feel better in time.
I did take this advice at first. Unfortunately, I never felt better. There was just this pain and sadness.
My doctor told me while on a visit that it would take time before I start to feel better. I trusted him. And then I waited, and waited, but this pain did not go away or start to ease up.
I now know that the above statements are some of the Myths of grief or misinformation that we hear from family and friends when they are trying to help.
Previous Article: The Support For The Grievers
I was able to complete my relationship with Austin 8 months after his death. The good news is that we do not have to wait to start the steps to recover from a loss.
Grief recovery can begin almost immediately. That doesn’t mean grievers will be happy the loss occurred, or they don’t care about the loss. It simple means they can immediately act.
Grievers want to talk about what happened and want to talk about both the good and bad aspects of the relationship. Almost every relationship ends with things we wish were: better, different or more.
Those thoughts are the beginning on the road to recovery.
If you’re still wondering if it’s too soon to begin to recover, answer these two questions
If you fell and gashed your leg and blood was pouring out, would you immediately seek medical attention? The obvious answer is yes. If circumstances and events conspired to break your heart, would you seek attention immediately, or would you allow yourself to bleed to death emotionally? Pick one!
I can give you the tools you need to address your grief, so you don’t spend the rest of your life waiting to feel better.
Please reach out to me for a free 30 minute mini session. Don’t try to go this alone. You might be able to push this down. But this pain will not go away without the proper action steps to help you move on beyond the pain.
About Sharon Brubaker
Grief is individual and unique for every person. A person’s relationship to each aspect of their life is also unique. As such, the feelings and thoughts each person will have about the relationship that has been altered by death, divorce, or other reasons requires customized attention using proven skills and understanding.